Friends don’t let friends commiserate.
Don’t get pulled into commiseration, lost in the victimhood of a ‘trauma bond superstorm’.
Commiseration is not support. Commiseration is agreeing with another one’s misery and joining our own perceived weaknesses with another’s out of fear. Commiseration is the practice of seeing weakness in humanity and this agreement allows us to go down together.
In this way, fear is contagious. So ask, ‘how healthy is my emotional immune system?’
Compassion contains detachment as we stay in the protection of our own open heart. Compassion can help others discern their strength.
Commiseration bolsters the reactive wounded child and ignores the strength of our hearts.
Don’t get drawn in and we can help others discern the threat.
This requires practice softening, opening our tight fearful heart. When the heart is open, compassion invites pain in and to dissolves the delusion of threat. Not easy, but this is how we build compassion. And by letting pain in we strengthen emotional immunity.